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11/06/2003 (interview with Sam, Ed, Chris and Stuart)

Please give a brief history of the band, including current line up.

Started in Year Ten GCSE music class. Five boys. Rock and roll music. Whipping a horses' behind with a belt. One boy left. Then one became a raving drug addict. Then we kicked him out. Then another joined.

First year AS Level classes. Four boys. Rock and roll music. ULTIMATELY whipping a horses's behind with a belt. The crowd roars like a (dead) lion in a cage.


2002 - We Are The Nucklhedz And You Are Not EP
2003 - Five More Reasons To Hate The Nucklhedz EP

So where did the name Nucklhedz come from, and what existing band name do you like?

Year ten physics GCSE classes With Mr ArNOTT... OR IS HE? The Nucklhedz is the shittest name for a band ever. It sounded good at the time, because we were fourteen. Now we hate it.

Other band names we like:
Sam: Anal Beard, Anal Cunt, Anal Blast, Man To Man
Ed: Tomahawk, Saxon, Foreigner, Traveller, Helloween, Man-O-War, Kiss, etc.
Haggis: Bolt Thrower, Dead Corpse, Excellent Flying Death, The Miracles
Chris: Obvious Anti-Capitalist Bias, The Crucifucks

Right, you ask for some randy questions, this is my feeble attempt. Do you get many females at your gigs and does being in a band help you pull the laaaaadies?

Quite frankly, no. Chris got chatted up by a twenty-six year old Spanish woman at our last gig. Sam got harassed by a strange man taking photos of him at the last gig. Ed and Stuart are too beautiful for ladies to like them, as they think they are not worthy.

What are your favourite subjects to sing about and what are the best lyrics you have ever heard?

We like to write songs about the hellish lives we lead in the urban ghetto that is Colchester.

Our favourite lyrics ever are:
Ed: Clutter up her butter gutter (Mr Bungle - Squeeze Me Macaroni)

Sam: Too many five-knuckle shuffles/And sordid fantasies/Have left my mattress covered/In a inch thick film of cheese (Anal Beard - Cheesy Mattress)

Chris: Ribbed/For love (Can You Feel It? - Man To Man), and Suck a donkey's cock/Suck a snow leapord's dick/Suck a sabre-tooted tiger's ass/Suck a rottweiler's boothole (Wesley Willis - Suck A Horse's Ass)

Stuart: Ooh/I'm a love machine/And I don't work for anybody but me (The Miracles - Love Machine)

You are all young, what got you into punk in the first place, and is there much of a punk scene in your area?

We are the local punk scene, apart from Skinsuit and OACB. Dirty Sam locked us all in a cupboard and made us like punk. Haggis McBasher did not like punk until his second year in the band, when we broke him in. Ed owns a Saxon video... Do we need to say anything else?

This is your chance to sell yourself; - imagine you are writing a review about the band.... what would you put?

Ed: Fucking gorgeous, fucking talented, fucking stuck up

Sam: The Nucklhedz are a musical equivalent of a your mum joke... Puerile, slightly offensive, and yet somehow strangely compelling... You just can't look away!

Chris: Imagine pissing gallstones... Then don't think about that, because The Nucklhedz are a punk rock band, not horrible searing urinating pain!

Stuart: Young, talented, single, low, loose, and full of juice!

Do you do any covers in your live set, if so what?

Recently we have been mostly covering these rock and roll hits -

Dead Or Alive - You Spin Me Right Round (Like A Record)
Edwinn Starr - War
tATu - All The Things She Said
Justin Timberlake - Rock Your Body/Like I Love You (medley)

Plans, gigs and releases planned for 2003.

Releasing a new EP very soon, buy it from www.thenucklhedz.net, recording a new EP in the summer, back in the studio by the end of the year, as soon as we can afford to do an album. We will also be rocking out to the music of Wesley Willis a lot. We'll be playing on the Burning Icons Essex/Suffolk mini tour through July and August as well.

Any final comments?

Sam: Once, we played a really big gig

Ed: At West Ham's stadium, Upton Park

Stuart: In November 2002, in the rain, in front of 4,500 people

Chris: And we were supporting Ms Dynamite

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Please note that the opinions expressed by band members does not necessarily reflect the views of this website. Punk & Oi in the UK Limited are in no way liable for comments made by interviewees.